Loneliness by Rebecca Delaunay

Experiencing loneliness is the gateway to the most important relationship – the one we have with ourselves.

Realising that we are lonely is tough.  Being able to say ‘I feel lonely’ – harder still.  

How does it feel? At first perhaps somewhere between boredom & being left out whilst amongst others; perhaps a shrinking feeling, or an aching, pinching awareness in our chest that we don’t belong; or a cold, rising panic that everyone else seems to have their people except for us:  a dawning realisation that we’ve fallen behind somehow or worse, we’re excluded from the flow of life that everyone else seems to effortlessly navigate. (Loneliness can make us delusional too).

Loneliness tells us something is wrong:  not wrong with us but something is wrong for us.  To find what is right, we need to allow the loneliness rather than trying to escape from it; in being with the loneliness we embrace being alone with ourself.

Learning to be with yourself changes the dynamic of abandoning yourself to fit in, rather than be left out. It prevents us shutting down and pulling away when we feel we don’t belong. Learn to know what’s right for you: to recognise what you need and want, what makes your heart sing and what crosses a line for you.  Then that shrinking, hollow feeling is replaced by a sense of expansion, of confidence in your own inner wisdom. 

We find our own place of peaceful respite and of motivation inside us.  The relationship with ourself, the connection in, is the foundation of then connecting out: it springboards us into authentic connection with the world.

Rebecca Delaunay is an associate therapist with RightMind Therapy & Training, Sevenoaks. Rebecca works with adults and teens aged 16+. She volunteered with the Psychosynthesis Trust for nearly two years counselling adults and has worked with a wide range of client issues and has a particular focus on recovering from trauma.

To arrange an appointment with Rebecca please email contact@rightmind.co.uk

Mental Health Awareness Week

9-15 May 2022 – Loneliness

Hosted by the Mental Health Foundation

Together we can tackle loneliness

For Mental Health Awareness Week this year, we’re raising awareness of the impact of loneliness on our mental wellbeing and the practical steps we can take to address it.   

Loneliness is affecting more and more of us in the UK and has had a huge impact on our physical and mental health during the pandemic.

Our connection to other people and our community is fundamental to protecting our mental health and we need to find better ways of tackling the epidemic of loneliness. We can all play a part in this. 

About Mental Health Awareness Week

The Mental Health Foundation started Mental Health Awareness Week 21 years ago and we continue to set the theme, organise and host the week. It’s  an opportunity for the whole of the UK to focus on achieving good mental health and has grown to become one of the biggest awareness weeks across the UK and globally.

To get in touch please email contact@rightmind.co.uk

Ways to Combat Loneliness

The theme of Mental Health Awareness Weeks this year is Loneliness.

We have put together a few signposts that might help you, or someone you know, to combat feelings of loneliness.

Help and advice on how to cope with loneliness and improve your mental health can be found by visiting the hosts of Mental Health Awareness Week, the Mental Health Foundation. Click HERE for free access to all of their resources and information.

Leading Mental Health charity, Mind, have comprehensive information of loneliness available for all, on their website.

Click this link to read about tips for everyday living with loneliness:

mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/

NHS England have information for those who are feeling lonely as well as some ideas to help improve how you are feeling.

Click this link to read more from the NHS on loneliness:

nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/

The Campaign to End Loneliness believe that people of all ages need connections that matter. There are nine million lonely people in the UK who lack the friendship and support we all need. Their vision is that everyone can live a life free from chronic loneliness. Hosted by the What Works Centre for Wellbeing, supported by National Lottery funding, the EU Interregional Fund, as well as other Trusts.

campaigntoendloneliness.org/the-facts-on-loneliness/

Mental health Foundation resources.

Tips and advice to help you cope with feelings of loneliness and isolation. Written with care, for you, by young people.

mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/unlock-loneliness/15-tips

Mental Health Foundation resources.

This guide is aimed at students aged 16+, it explores loneliness and the links to mental health and provides tips for students together with ideas of how to get involved and raise awareness in communities, at school, college or university.

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/student-guide-loneliness

A piece from Psychology Today on Loneliness.

psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/loneliness

RightMind Therapy & Training have a team of counsellors and psychotherapists available to support you and help you to understand more about the feelings of loneliness that you might have.

Please reach out to us today by emailing contact@rightmind.co.uk

Free Support for Young People

Free, local support for young people affected by the Coronavirus pandemic.

Young people can join Sevenoaks District Council’s free scheme to help them get back into activities they enjoyed before the pandemic.

It is acknowledged that 11 to 18 year olds were among the hardest hit by the Covid 19 restrictions. Sadly, some are still anxious about the future and many missed valuable learning and socialising. Some are no longer doing the things they enjoyed before Coronavirus struck.

Sign up and take part in lots of free, local activities including:

Skatepark and music days
Art therapy sessions
A skateboarding mural project
A youth café
Farm visits
Funding is also available to try something new or to another activities

Those who join will have the opportunity meet other young people and engage with a mentor.

Where needed, access to mental health support and free 1-2-1 counselling will be available, provided by RightMind Therapy & Training in Sevenoaks.

The scheme is being funded by a Kent County Council grant.

Contact Sevenoaks District Council Health & Communities Department
Telephone: 01732 227000
Email: communities@sevenoaks.gov.uk

Apply by clicking the link below:

https://www.sevenoaks.gov.uk/covidsupport

Mental Health Awareness Week

RightMind Therapy & Training are marking Mental Health Awareness Week in Sevenoaks, Kent and beyond as part of the UK’s national week to raise awareness of mental health.

This year the theme for the week is ‘Loneliness’ which affect millions of people in the UK. During this awareness week, we hope that people across the country, people will be reflecting on loneliness and how it impacts our mental health. Long-term loneliness is closely linked to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety.

  Mark Rowland Chief Executive of the Mental Health Foundation said: 

“We hope this year’s theme of loneliness will strike a chord with many of us who felt lonely and struggled throughout the Covid pandemic.  

Millions of us experience loneliness from time to time. We know that some people are at higher risk of experiencing loneliness and the evidence shows the longer we feel lonely, the more we are at risk of mental health problems.

Loneliness deserves more attention and we’re calling on everyone who has struggled as a result of being lonely to share their experiences. We must work together – as individuals, as a society and through government policy – to reduce loneliness and prevent mental health problems by investing in welcoming, social spaces and new community initiatives.”

Some of the ways people can participate in Mental Health Awareness Week:

● During Mental Health Awareness Week use the hashtag #IveBeenThere to share experiences of loneliness to support others and give the campaign momentum.

● Sign up to walk, run or job as part of our 80 Miles in May challenge and share your photos using #80MilesinMayand #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/80-miles-may-challenge

For more information about this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week visit: mentalhealth.org.uk/mhaw or join the conversation on social media using #IveBeenThere and #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

If you would like to enquire about counselling support, please get in touch by emailing: contact@rightmind.co.uk

For young people in the Sevenoaks area, RightMind Therapy & Training are working in partnership with Sevenoaks District Council to support 11-18 year olds who have been affected by the Covid pandemic and/or lockdown. For further information on free support, please visit: https://www.sevenoaks.gov.uk/info/20026/your_community/604/support_for_young_people_affected_by_the_coronavirus_pandemic

Together we can tackle loneliness.

Loneliness by Angela Pixner

Loneliness is something many of us are likely to experience at some point in our lives, yet it also seems to be something many find hard to acknowledge or name. Feeling lonely doesn’t necessarily equate to being on our own. It is possible to be on our own yet feel comfortable with this and not experience feeling lonely; by contrast some people can be surrounded by many people and yet experience feeling alone. 

In my experience as a counsellor, clients have expressed feeling lonely in more commonly recognised situations such as after the loss of a partner or a pet, following the end of a relationship or during ‘lockdown’. However, clients have also come to the realisation that they feel lonely in other less commonly identified situations, such as after retirement, when children have ‘flown the nest’, when there is a communication breakdown with a partner, following the birth of a baby, or feeling an inability to relate to those around us, for example. This list is by no means exhaustive but I believe there is a common thread that runs through them all and that is experiencing a lack of emotional connection on some level. The antidote to loneliness is often therefore to experience feeling connected and this is where counselling can play a role for some people who may be struggling to find that vital emotional connection that can plug the gap felt by loneliness. Counselling can therefore often provide that stepping stone to understanding and processing feeling lonely and moving beyond it.

Angela Pixner (MBACP) is a qualified counsellor who works with adults at RightMind Therapy & Training in Sevenoaks. Angela has volunteered as a counsellor at the ellenor Hospice and has varied experience in working with the bereaved, those caring for others and those facing health challenges themselves.

To arrange an appointment with Angela please email contact@rightmind.co.uk

Mental Health Awareness Week

9-15 May 2022 – Loneliness

Hosted by the Mental Health Foundation

Mental Health Awareness Week is an annual event when there is an opportunity for the whole of the UK to focus on achieving good mental health. The Mental Health Foundation started the event 21 years ago. Each year the Foundation continues to set the theme, organise and host the week. The event has grown to become one of the biggest awareness weeks across the UK and globally.

Why loneliness? 

Loneliness is affecting more and more of us in the UK and has had a huge impact on our physical and mental health during the pandemic. Our connection to other people and our community is fundamental to protecting our mental health and we need to find better ways of tackling the epidemic of loneliness. We can all play a part in this.    

So, in May 2022, we will be raising awareness of the impact of loneliness on our mental wellbeing and the practical steps we can take to address it.    

Reducing loneliness is a major step towards a mentally healthy society.

To get in touch please email contact@rightmind.co.uk

Angela Pixner

Angela Pixner (MBACP) is a qualified counsellor working with adults. Angela has a Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling and her work is underpinned by the BACP’s Ethical Framework and Professional Conduct Procedures. 

Angela recognises the importance of ‘finding the right fit’ when it comes to counselling, believing that establishing a trusting relationship is key to helping someone to get the best out of their counselling. Angela aims to work with open ears, heart and mind to create an empathic, safe environment for individuals to explore their concerns. Her work is integrative in approach but person-centred at the core, meaning she draws on various counselling theories as she feels appropriate to the individual but in a non-directive way (the client remains ‘in the driving seat’ at all times).

Angela has helped to support clients living with depression, hopelessness, anxiety, fluctuating mood, loss, bereavement, health concerns, relationship issues, cultural issues, controlling behaviours, PTSD and trauma. Particular areas of interest are loss and bereavement, stress in the workplace, cultural and gender identity concerns.

To book a session with Angela please email contact@rightmind.co.uk in the first instance.  

Individual counselling sessions with Angela are held at RightMind Therapy & Training, 16 Wealden Place, Sevenoaks, Kent TN13 3QQ.

Sessions last for 50 minutes and Angela’s fee is £50 per session.